Is it that bad....?

Dear Public Service Employee!!  You have a government job.  You get paid by the government!  I pay taxes to the government!  Technically.....(.in the 6 degrees from Kevin Bacon theory) YOU WORK FOR ME!!

YOU ARE FIRED!!!

Next time, try a smile!!  Just sayin........

Get dressed.....!!!!

So I stopped at the local Subway for my favorite steak and cheese sub.....LOVE THAT AS A TREAT!!  But I digress.......as it was after 5pm it was a pretty packed place.........good for them.  The bad part was that of the 15-20 people that were in the building.......there were a total of 4 people that were wearing pants!!!

NOT NAKED!!!  But every other person in there was in some sort of sweat-pant, pajama looking, drawstring pulling lazy ass slobby attire.  PEOPLE!!!???  Have some class!!  GET DRESSED!!!  Seriously......when did it become OK for anyone besides a toddler to wear their jammies in a public place!!!  It is nothing but pure laziness. PERIOD!!!  Maybe you can get away with wearing that crap in Walmart!!  And I know you do........but have some self esteem, have some self respect......HELL why not GIVE a SHIT!!!??  You make it worse for yourself!!!  People look at you and think.......lazy, jobless, slob!!  Whether it be true or not........

Protect your image....protect your kids image......put on some clothes.........just sayin......

When........?????

I recently went out for breakfast at a breakfasty place which just so happens to be attached to a hotel. (probably should have been my first "red flag")  So I get to the restaurant, and it is a fairly new place nicely decorated, modern look and feel.  I get seated along with my guest.....and am immediately greeted by "Tommy" the toddler that is running around the restaurant like a stray dog!!!

WTF PEOPLE????

My mood immediately changes......because if there is one thing that I can not tolerate....its a kid running amuck in a restaurant!!!  I literally wanted to DROP KICK the parents.....to the head repeatedly!!!  Who in there right mind is okay with letting their kid run all over a restaurant?  The girls carry hot coffee....trays full of food, and are always on the run.  What about the safety of the child?  Seriously who are these parents!!!??  And why can I not say what I really want to say???  

PUT YOUR CHILD IN A CHAIR!!!!  I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT OR HEAR IT......IT'S NOT CUTE!!!

IT PISSES ME OFF!!!! JUST SAYIN.............

OH NO YOU DON'T.......

To the guy that drove up the shoulder, past everyone already waiting, to get to the front of the line in the traffic hold up.........

This isn't Vancouver......you can't bully your way in....there are other people that were in the hold up before you and they are waiting patiently, and each of us will make certain that you don't get in front of us!!  We will become the impenetrable wall of metal and rubber which no man shall cross (too dramatic?)

......and by the way......

Thinking that you are TOO important to wait like everyone else, and then driving aggressively past everyone, doesn't make you smarter, doesn't get you there faster, doesn't make you popular, and despite where you sit right now....doesn't even make you first.......it only makes you an idiot.....just sayin...

YOU'RE MAKING ME LATE..

I'm the first to admit that I am a pokey pokester when it comes to getting up and ready for work in the morning...I generally have it timed to the second....

-how long I can sleep check

-how long in the shower check

-how long for hair styling check

-how long for travel time check

-leaving enough time for coffee pick-up check

IT'S DOWN TO A SCIENCE

Well you'd think it would be.......except for........YOU PEOPLE!!!  WHO? YOU....Yes YOU!!  The ones that get in the way of me accomplishing my mission!!!  The obstacles I encounter are seemingly endless..........I go to get a coffee....yes a coffee.....I LIKE coffee!!!  Regular-strong vein jump starting, eye-opening coffee!!!  And when I go out to get it....I like (NEED) it, fast......but when I'm in a hurry (ya ya I know it's self inflicted....but follow along) WHY??...Oh WHY?? is it that I must get behind 

THIS PERSON

"YES I'LL HAVE A: **Vente extra hot, soy, caramel macchiato, no foam, stirred, with whip, extra caramel, at 200 degrees.....latte to go.....**"  WTF....IS THAT!??!

Please....please CAFFEINE GODS......give me coffee...JUST a COFFEE!!

Finally.... I get my coffee, after what seems to be a never ending line-up of precocious drinks being ordered.....ahhhhh heaven..........no time to enjoy even a sip because I'm now late....late....late......


PEOPLE!!........YOU'RE MAKING ME LATE!.....just sayin......

A DEEPER THOUGHT.......

 Yes folks there is a side of me that is soft..........(stop laughing or you'll hurt my feelers)

 It's the time of year when we are surrounded by love and family, when peace and joy fill the air as we hear the innocent laughter of children and the excitement that is filling their heads with the anticipation of Christmas day.  We all get caught up in how wonderful and heartwarming it is, yet it's so sad and almost disgraceful that we can only manage as a society to do this but once a year.

Our world is full of dysfunction......and if you don't think it's in your world LOOK AGAIN, or check your neighbors world, or their neighbors. Believe me it's there!!  Our world screams dysfunction!!

We build the tallest skyscrapers and the widest roadways.....but we tear down our fellow humans with our intolerance and closed minds.  We spend a lot of money, money that most don't have, to get the things we think will make us happy, but for all we have, for all we spend, we enjoy life less and less.  We build giant houses that remain empty except for the dog or cat that is left at home. We live in a world where each day has always had 24 hours, but we seem to have less time.  We have more knowledge, but less common sense.  We have more and more medicine and cures for what ails you....but less health each year.  We don't smile much!

We live in a world dominated by possessions, must haves, desires, but our core values have been reduced......we talk a lot, but we don't communicate.  

We love our fellow humans way too little, and we hate them way too much.

We desire to see other worlds, but fail to see our own world.  We complain when it happens to us, but turn a blind eye when it happens to someone else.  We build rockets to take us to a different universe, but we won't cross the street to meet our own neighbors.   

DYSFUNCTION 

 We are all part of it. We each have a share! However, we can also be part of the solution....So today instead of getting stressed out when you are in the long line up this holiday season.....let's start with this......maybe just smile!  It won't hurt you, I promise......just sayin...

HEY YOU.......

Ya you......the guy that called his 4 year old little boy stupid in front of all the other kids at his birthday party in the "restaurant" because the ketchup fell off his french fry onto his shirt..........and then punished him for crying...........

Congratulations

** YOU'RE AN IDIOT!!! ** 

....just sayin...

PS. I got you something............

Your Personal Badge

         ....perhaps you should stick it to your forehead!!!

OK...WE'RE DONE NOW.......

I'm the first one to admit.......I'm getting older.....but mostly in the body.....I try to be "hip", I try to be "with it"....I try to be "today".  But I have to ask......I really have to ask......since when is it fashionable, hip, cool, acceptable......to have your underwear hanging out of your pants??!!  Seriously......I truly don't get it......it drives me crazy....it really doesn't even make a difference to me whose name you have on the waistband.  In fact, you can bet that it doesn't really impress Calvin Klein or Joe Boxer that your naked butt is rubbing all over them too.  I'm almost certain that the only reason they endorsed a pair of undergarments in the first place was because they believed them to be made the best, with the utmost comfort and durability at hand, not to be flashed out of the top of the jeans you're wearing.

THE NUMBER YOU HAVE DIALED..........

Anyone that knows me...........also knows that I am not a huge fan of ever-changing technology.  I think progress in the world is fantastic...except for when it impacts human relationships and interaction.  Which brings me to the most basic of our techno-logic advances: 

Remember me??

YOU HAVE KIDS???

It's an honest question on a number of levels......and of course it's not one that is uttered out loud; that would be rude (so unlike me)!!  Seriously though, are there not times when you think to yourself....."how do you have children?"  This question can be raised by a number of factors, although the most common 2 reasons that I have encountered are: A) You are too ugly "inside & out" to have someone sleep with you EVER or: B) Your stupidity outweighs your ability to procreate!

Now these are just reasons why you'd ask the question "You have Kids?"  It doesn't mean the definitive answer is not YES!!!  Which in itself presents with a different set of questions with which we could be here all freaking day sorting that out. 

ONE MONTH TIL CHRISTMAS!!!

Ugh! How did time go by so fast......seems like just last year we were doing this?!  I'm trying to get myself into the holiday spirit....I really am....but it seems each year gets harder and harder!!  

You know what I love about Xmas?????  Re-gifting!!  Who doesn’t have a closet full of crap that you just can’t wait to pass along to those "deserving" friends & acquaintances!?  There are even "special crap gift" categories. 

 Disguised in beautifully wrapped boxes: 

CLEVER DISGUISE

 USELESS TRINKETS (generally picked up at the dollar store)

 UGLY SCARVES (you know which ones I mean)

 HOMEMADE CRAP (from the "Turn your garbage into $" book)

MISCELLANEOUS UNSCENTED CANDLES ( my favorite,  the  colors NEVER go with anyone's decor)

YOUR CALL IS IMPORTANT TO US!!!

YA RIGHT........!!  It is so important that when I call you for something that you pissed me off about.......I get asked, NOT MY NAME..........no but my telephone #.  And you know what truly irks me about that......it's being asked my telephone number/account number AFTER I already entered it in using the keypad on my phone. I thought I was supposed to enter that info to "better assist me".  Clearly this is just a way of killing more time.......a prolonging of the bleeding ear rendition of a pseudo Kenny G saxophone player raping yet another one of Celine Dion's songs!!!  

YOU HAVE A LICENSE?!

I'm generally a pretty laid back person (stop snickering) but there are certainly some things that pick me off!!  One of them is a person's inability to drive despite the possession of a drivers license.  I've got news for you, holding a plastic card with a little hologram and your picture on it does not make you invincible.  

I have a truck and I will use it.  

OUTTA MY WAY!!!

GIMME A BREAK!!

Kim Kardashian divorcing after 72 days.........Lindsay Lohan jailed for 30 days...............Justin Beiber father at 17!!!  DILLIGAF?  (look it up)  Can't you tell me something important.......something interesting.....something happy.......dare I say something POSITIVE?!!  Who is it that wants to know about these people?  Why must it be kept in the forefront of our minds?  Are we that controlled by our entertainment folk that we need to know their scheduled bathroom breaks?  Perhaps if those types of things were reported instead.........the frenzied gathering of "news" on these individuals would die down.........

THIS JUST IN........OPRAH WINFREY RUNS OFF STAGE WITH TERRIBLE BOUT OF DIARRHEA!!!  Yes people they actually go to the bathroom...........just saying.....

A SUMMER FASHION..........DON'T

I just saw a man wearing a toe ring.  I mean people that is just WRONG, WRONG, WRONG on so many levels???  Am I being cruel, judgmental?  Tell me if I am.  There are just some people that shouldn't be wearing certain things.  Toe rings are a sexy accessory only to be rightly worn by.......that's right, the sexy.  There is nothing sexy about a dudes long hairy sharp toe-nailed toe that's wearing a toe ring......my eyes, my eyes!! OMG......Just sayin.....